I’ve assigned myself a Fool’s Errand. Though the traditional “Fool’s Errand” is usually defined as “A needless or profitless errand,” that is not my intent with my self-appointed task. In fact, my calling it a Fool’s Errand is in part on purpose and in part by chance. In early September of 2018, I was over a year into difficulties with my writing habit. At the time, I wasn’t writing regularly, or, really, much at all. Frustrated by my lack of initiative and seeking to find some other insight about my difficulties than I’d been able to gain through discussing it in traditional therapy, I asked a friend of mine to do a tarot reading on my lack of progress.
The reading he gave me resulted in a couple of realizations. First was that I was focused too much on what I’d lost, namely my daily writing habit. Second was that I was afraid of writing, something I hadn’t seen until the reading pointed it out.
Luckily, the spread also had a couple of suggestions for how I could deal with these issues. The first, “Go with the flow,” was something I’d been using previously, with little success. As I’d been going up to this point, I hadn’t made much progress on incomplete projects, and I kept on starting new stories. This was not what I wanted, and I knew I lacked any sort of discipline for getting things done. I just didn’t know how to change things. But the reading also came up with the suggestion that “It’s okay to be a Fool.” This was an enlightening concept for me, and what it basically means, in my mind, is that I must take a step back and allow myself to write badly in order to reacquire any sort of regular writing habit.
Following a day or two of contemplation on the suggestion of “It’s okay to be a Fool,” I made some decisions. First, I’d designate the month of September for preparing to write. This became a plan to spend the month reading through those relatively few incomplete projects I felt I had a good chance of completing. Second, I’d begin writing again in October 2018 with a goal of 250 words 5 days a week. This was not a time to try diving back into the deep end of writing with a massive writing goal. I needed to start small. Third, I would take some time each of the 5 days I’d allotted to my writing to actually write 250 words. I would not worry about their quality, or if they even had anything to do with whatever wip I was writing on. The thought behind this was that I just needed to make it a habit to spend some time each day writing to retrain my creative mind. Finally, and most importantly, I would also spend September developing better self-care habits that would hopefully aid me in my writing goals by providing me the time I needed for writing and all the other things I wanted to do.
To keep myself on track and make myself accountable, I created this addendum site to my main site. Here is where I post the details about my progress.
My primary site can be found here.
I am a writer of Speculative Fiction with LGBTQ+ characters, and I dabble in Gay Romance. More information about me can be found at my main site, the link to which is above. The image I’m using for myself on this site is a portion of the “0 Fool” card of the Gilded Tarot’s Major Arcana, artwork by Ciro Marchetti. The deck and its companion book are available on Amazon.